Food Paper--Revision

Happy Friday Everyone,

I started reading your blogs today and I'm going to be getting through the rest of them by mid-day on Saturday. Look for some of my specific suggestions then. Until that time, I would like you to check your draft carefully for the following:

1. What did you promise your reader in the introduction? Identify the thesis of your paper in your introduction. What did you promise to deliver? The purpose of this paper should have been to compare, evaluate, and analyze the assigned food. You need to state this somehow early on in the paper.

2. Did you deliver what you promised?  Some of you didn't fulfill the purpose of the assignment. You were asked to compare, analyze and contrast the foods you tasted and to describe the experience. Some of your drafts were instead a process analysis paper explaining how chocolate is made while others revealed an in-depth history of each of five chocolate chip companies. And neither of them mentioned the taste testing that was done in preparation for this paper.

3. Did you use description, comparison, and definition? These were the three techniques that you were asked do use in this paper. Is each of them evident at some point? Did you use point-by-point or subject-by-subject?

4. If the answer is NO to any of these three questions, you must address these issues first.

5. If the answer is YES to all three of these questions, move onto the following:

• Draft 3 Different Introductions: Draft 3 new introductions for this paper using the samples and lists we saw in the yellow packet earlier this week.
• NEW POST: Explain that you are trying new introduction techniques, and explain what techniques your original draft uses, if any. Then explain what three techniques you want to try and why. After the explanation of each technique, draft the new introduction below it in italics. 
• Spell Check and Publish Post: When you finish, give your peer from the other day the URL address for your site and ask them to read your introductions and to comment about each and to make a recommendation about which one you might use in your next revision.

Have a great weekend,

Ms. Basko